Prema writes personal account of her journey in music

Prema’s history (Pg. 4) – essence of who I was gave me the courage I needed to transform myself into the woman I am today...and for that, I am so thankful.

When in the UK, I never stopped writing music. I spent a great deal of time dealing with my feelings and invariably turned them into songs. I also began to arrange, produce, picked up the bass and learnt to programme drums; it was a time of great advancement. A lot of the songs from 'in Fusion' emerged from this period. I also did a couple of gigs here and there but I just couldn’t find musicians I really connected with. Looking back I think this was mainly due to the fact that my music and sound was in a serious state of evolution. I was no longer the same person from Malaysia and not quite the person I was striving to be yet and while this flux continued in my soul and spirit, my music could not be contoured into a definitive sound.

I guess in a way I had lost my 'voice', my ability to express myself in a truly authentic way which was detrimental because authenticity is what my music is all about. However, the tide began to turn slowly as I started to heal my spirit. I began to put all my energy into crafting my self and my music. I think the pivotal moment came when I went to an open mic audition for a slot in a showcase gig in London. Now, that was a real bitter pill for me to swallow I must confess, because after all the things I had achieved in Malaysia, the UK and Australia - it felt like I was starting at square one and indeed that's exactly what it was. It was a disheartening moment; turning up to this audition with lots of other hopefuls, all eyeing each other up...not really the place I wanted to be. However, I felt it was something I had to do; I had to show myself that I was now truly healed and even though my pride took a beating that day, I was there for the love of singing. I had finally reached a point where being successful was no longer the goal, but being able to sing, for the sheer love of it gave me the fulfilment I craved for. When I took to the stage at the audition, a peace came over me and something deep within my soul was liberated. I opened my mouth & heart to sing and pure joy and love radiated from me. It was a wonderful, healing moment and that audition resulted in me headlining at the Jazz Café in Camden which set the wheels in motion for the recording of 'in Fusion'. Looking back, I gleaned a very precious lesson from that experience. It all comes down to your intention, your reason for doing something – if your intention is authentic and in sync with your soul then you can only ever attract a positive outcome. Pretty deep huh? :-)

The process of making 'in Fusion' took around 2 years, from the seed being planted in my heart to the final recording. It was a real leap of faith for me because I was in charge of making it happen, no record label, no producer; just me. The journey began with selecting the songs that I wanted to record. That came about quite easily but I soon realised that they needed serious work to get them to reach the standards I knew they deserved. I got myself a laptop (Apple Macbook Pro), then Logic, a good microphone and the relevant hardware (all on credit cards I might add!)